Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Modern Moms Guide to Dad: Ten Secrets Your Husbands Wont Tell You by Jesse Jayne Rutherford - Excellent read for new, and not so new, parents alike!

This parenting relationship book is based on the authors experiences in leading more than 2,000 workshops with new and expectant dads to discuss parenting in a non-threatening environment. In it Hogan Hilling and Jesse Jayne Rutherford offer thoughtful insights into what makes dads behave the way they do.

Not long after Hilling began his workshops with dads, he began to hear from the moms. They were confused by their husbands behavior and, knowing they were attending Hogans workshops, invited him to speak to them about what he had learned. Soon he was conducting workshops with moms who wanted to know what their husbands thought about being dads. Why doesnt he spend more time with the kids? Why am I stuck doing all of the housework? How can I get him more involved with our family?

The Modern Moms Guide to Dads draws on what Hilling has learned from working with dads and moms for more than fifteen years. He explains to modern moms what their husbands are really thinking about pregnancy, parenting, and marriage, and he teaches them how to get their husbands more involved with the kids and get some relaxation for themselves while keeping the peace in their marriages.

In each chapter, Hilling tells stories from his own life and from the lives of other dads. Each of these stories sheds light on a secret that dads dont tell their wives. Also included are quotes from real dads about their innermost thoughts and feelings, helpful tips on parenting, and a section called And a Mom Wants You to Know, written by Jesse Jayne Rutherford.

Written by a dad and a mom, The Modern Moms Guide to Dads is a fun guide for understanding and strengthening a marriage that has given birth!

Excellent read for new, and not so new, parents alike!
Balanced by his co-author, Jesse Jayne Rutherford, who offers the female perspective in each of the ten chapters, The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads handles many topics such as how society shapes a man's self-understanding and what kinds of pressure they're really under. They work more once baby arrives on the scene not because they're trying to get away from us (although those Monday morning door-rushes have me a bit skeptical -- I don't know. My husband really loves his job), but because they're trying to provide for us. It's an eye-opening book in many ways. New dads struggle with guilt, negative self-talk and confusion as much as women do. We're just more vocal about it and it seems socially appropriate for women to talk about their struggles. How many talk shows have female moderators? Very few, other than perhaps Dr. Phil, really get at the heart of people. Most men have not learned how to express themselves around these issues. For the first time, there's hope. Hogan Hilling, founder of Proud Dads, Inc., has provided an outlet for them to reveal what they're truly thinking in a safe, nonjudgemental environment.

Hogan has been offering parenting workshops and new dad seminars in area hospitals since 1992. His approach is straight-forward and extremely helpful for anyone, mom or dad, struggling with their roles as a new parent. He admits many people might not find his role as a stay-at-home dad (for fifteen years!) to be 'manly' in the traditional sense. Thank goodness! How else could there be progress without a man stepping out of the corporate box to stand up for what he believes in? It turns out many more dads, regardless of race, creed, religious or socio-economic status, believe the same thing. You don't have to be a Superdad or Supermom to do the right thing. In case you hadn't heard, there's no such thing.

A truly wonderful book full of surprises that will make you be kinder to your husband and see things his way ...for once!

Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff and Sahm I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe, lives near Munich with her husband and two children.

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